Culture Mush

The final Presidential debate is now in progress! If you’re with a group of your friends and you have a couple bottles of hooch, bust out the shot glasses and just follow these rules. It is sure to guarantee a great time, and a rambunctious after-party!

GENERIC RULES THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ANY DEBATE:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When the buzzwords “change” or “maverick” or “hope” are used
-Whenever either one says “fundamental” or “fundamental difference”
-When someone says “I voted for or against” or “He voted for or against”
-When McCain refers to Obama’s “inexperience”
-When McCain stammers and looks like he might have a heart attack
-When McCain somehow works in his personal story as a POW during Vietnam
-When McCain refers to the moderator as “my friend” or the audience as “my friends”
-When Obama somehow works in his personal story of being raised by a single mom and his grandparents
-When Obama makes a smirk, shakes his head, and says, “Look…” as a preface to a statement or follow-up
-When Obama makes the case that McCain and Bush are one and the same or uses the phrase “more of the same”
-When Obama says “John McCain is right on this, but…”
-When either one lays claims to being “bipartisan” or working “across the aisle”
-It’s a Social when Sarah Palin is mentioned!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if McCain loses his temper!

ECONOMY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When someone mentions the “Bailout” of Wall Street
-When someone mentions Wall Street and Main Street in the same train of thought
-When someone starts quoting dollar figures (for example: 700 billion)
-When someone talks about mortgages/foreclosures/homeowners

FOREIGN POLICY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-If anyone uses the words “surge” or “victory”
-When anyone mentions a particular nation as being a potential “nuclear” threat
-When McCain talks about Islamic Radicals/Terrorists
-When Georgia and/or Russia are mentioned
-When Iran and/or Iraq are mentioned
-When Afghanistan is mentioned
-It’s a social for al Qaeda or North Korea!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if anyone delivers specifics on how to get out of Iraq “safely and responsibly”.

Big thanks to Pancakes and Kissing for these rules!