Culture Mush

Imagine if you have gone through this election only listening to your friends. Imagine getting ready to visit the ballot box and the only thing about the candidates that you know is what you have heard from your friends. Imagine if your friends are completely ignorant, uninformed and uneducated. Let’s have a look at these candidate misinformed supporters and break down the facts according to them.

Extremist McCain supporters:

What they’d like us to know:
- Obama is a Muslim.
- Obama’s not a Christian and this is a Christian nation.
- Obama is a second stringer because he’s not white.
- Obama is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
- Palin is filled with the Holy Spirit.
- Obama is related to a known terrorist.
- He must support terrorists. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.”
- Obama and his wife could be anti “white”.
- They don’t like the fact that Obama thinks “us white people are trash.”
- Obama is a baby killer.
- Difference in opinion is worthy of offensive insults and violent threats.

Extremist Obama supporters:

What they’d like us to know:
- If you’re white and you don’t vote Obama, you’re racist.
- If you believe borders should be closed, you’re racist and not human.
- If you can shout louder than the person you are debating, you are a top notch debater.
- According to the campaign sign that you made, Barack’s name is spelled “Barak”.
- There is no difference between gas and health care. You should pay higher prices for socialized health care than gas. By paying taxes for health care, gas prices will magically plummet.
- Illegal immigrants using health care for free and bankrupting hospitals isn’t a problem. Everybody deserves the same health care rights, regardless of citizen status. If you feel otherwise, you don’t believe in God.
- If you believe health care should only be for citizens, than you think that slavery should still be practiced.
- Immigrants and illegal aliens are all the same. Everybody in the US is an alien. Native Americans also no longer exist.
- If you are passionate about locking US borders and that is your most passionate cause, you should vote for the candidate opposite or your beliefs just because you share the same skin color.

My conclusion after listening to both extreme sides of the coin is that nobody seems to know a damn thing about McCain’s policies and the difference in the issues between the two candidates. Sadly, this election seems to come down to nothing more than race, religion and complete misinformation. Hopefully there are more educated individuals voting, than the ignorant. I’ve also come to the conclusion that the country’s most important issue isn’t raising taxes, high gas prices or abortion… The importance of education needs to come to the forefront in the near future! Nothing good can come of a country full of ignorant individuals with bad tempers, but at least these two very different groups all have 1 thing in common:Tiny IQ’s.

It’s the American Dream: Getting married to Prince Charming, living in a beautiful house, having a child, and watching that entrepreneurial child sell enough cookies to run a smear ad campaign about the Republican Party.

Although Emily Anderson is only 8 years old, that hasn’t stopped her from fundraising to support the Candidate that she believes in. After selling cookies and lemonade for weeks on end, Emily Anderson has finally raised enough funds to run her attack ad on television. Her ad campaign has effectively tilted the voters as much as 5 points in the direction of her favorite candidate, Barack Obama. Working from the end of her school day until her 8pm bedtime seems to have really paid off.

In Emily Anderson’s smear ad, she links John McCain to several mistresses during his time in the senate. Aside from that, she alleges that his wife stole prescription pills to support her drug habit, while labeling her a thief. Although none of these allegations are true, the voter swing at the polls has backed up her beliefs: “You can make a lie sound like the truth if you say it over and over and over again. The key it to control the public dialogue.”

The next time you hear an 8 year old exclaiming “McCain is a liar, so buy my cookies!”, you’ll know that by purchasing those goodies will in turn fund the efforts of America’s most shameless future Democrat. Kids will do the darndest things!

P.S. If you can’t spot political satire without believing everything you read is true, than you should probably skip voting until your brain develops a bit more. You probably believe Obama is a terrorist, don’t you?

It was only a matter of time before presidential (ex)candidate John McCain threw in the towel. After the buzz of his campaign spark Sarah Palin was extinguished, the truth was exposed for all to see: John McCain is an extension of George Bush that very few want to see as our next President of the United States. During a speech in Minnesota, ‘my friend’ John McCain was pummeled with a chorus of boo’s after doing all but conceding to Democratic candidate Barack Obama.

After McCain proclaimed that Barack Obama is a “decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States.”, fingers were pointed and a Benedict Arnold label was instantly attached to John McCain’s wrinkled forehead. According to the AP, McCain responded to taunts from his own republican crowd by stating that “If you want a fight, we will fight…But we will be respectful. I admire Sen. Obama and his accomplishments.” When people proceeded to boo, McCain put an abrupt halt to it. He did so by taking out his dentures and making a spooky goblin face. I lied about that last part, but I think that if he had done that, those sad ones in the crowd would have turned their frowns upside down!

Of course during one point, the Muslim extremist card was thrown out by ignorant American #6723459675235. “I don’t trust Obama,” the woman said. “I have read about him. He’s an Arab.” Finally, McCain decided to do what was right and he shook his head in disagreement while saying “No, ma’am. He’s a decent, family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with (him) on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

I’m not sure whether the falling poll numbers have diminished McCain’s maverick-ness, or whether he’s pissed off that he can’t beat a person that half of the country thinks is Osama Bin Laden, but it seems as if McCain is ready to lay back and take his loss like a mavericky gentleman. Barring a huge vote counting discrepancy, it looks like McCain has come to the conclusion that most of the American public has: Senator Barack Obama is going to be elected the next President of the United States.