Oct 16

Joe The Plumber Says Good Morning America

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Joe Wurzelbacher is a man that was relatively unknown aside from his friends, family and people that have had him in their home to unblock sinks clogged with shaved neck hair. However, after last night, Joe Wurzelbacher has become a household name to millions of people thanks to being mentioned 23 times last night during the Presidential debate by both Obama and McCain.

While this would be an exciting moment for most people, Joe Wurzelbacher has gone from having a proper name, to being reduced to Joe the Plumber. Sure his kids think it’s cool, but can you imagine him going to a fine dining restaurant and being greeted as ‘Joe The Plumber’? How about meeting a beautiful woman on the street, talking to her, and some jackass walks by and yells “Hey…it’s Joe the Plumber! I hope you washed your hands!” As you can imagine, this new label could be disastrous in a variety of different social situations.

Anyway, Joe the Plumber is getting his 15 minutes of fame by hitting every news outlet known to man. While he’s not making anywhere near $250,000 a year right now as he says, who knows what this boost in ‘fame’ will bring him. I just hope he changes the name of his company to ‘Joe the Plumber’ and copyrights it before some other capitalistic plumber in this socialistic society does. In case you were sleeping like you should be at 6am, you can catch Joe the Plumber on Good Morning America by playing the video below.

Question: How do you know your 15 minutes of fame has began?

Answer: Your Wikipedia page is already created by somebody else, and you’ve also got a large write up in the context of United States Presidential Election Debates without being a candidate.

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Oct 03

Some Fun Facts About Sarah Palin

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Now that Palin made it to the debate and didn’t embarrass herself too bad (unfortunately), I think it’s about time for me to drop a few facts about Sarah Palin that you may or may not know. These are facts not because they have been proven 100% to be true, but because I say so. Hell…with that mentality, I ought to be a politician!

  1. Sarah Palin has the ability to partake in a structured debate with the uncanny ability to answer any question asked, with a response about something totally different and unrelated!
  2. Palin forgot to mention that she has a son that she’s been hiding from us all. Bobby, from Bobby’s world:
  3. Hustler’s search for a Palin impersonator to ‘act’ in an adult film is completed. The film is tentatively titled “NAILIN’ PAYLIN”. All we can hope for is that they don’t look for a McCain Lookalike to co-star.
  4. She has the uncanny ability to give birth at 44, and return to her original size within a few months. How she manages to fit in the daily workouts to do so between raising 5 children, actively campaigning and getting slammed by Katie Couric is beyond me.
  5. She enjoys the word Maverick way too much, and admits that she is one as well. With two self proclaimed ‘mavericks’ running on one ticket that can’t seem to agree on 70%  of the issues, what kind of hodgepodge would we end up with if this ticket is elected into the White House?
  6. She expects to exclaim phrases like “Dog gone, gosh b golly, Joe you don’t know?” during a Vice Presidential debate, and be taken seriously. Could you imagine the mess it would be if this woman had to speak to esteemed world leaders that don’t understand ‘redneck’?
  7. And one time, at band camp…
  8. Palin’s poor showings to the mainstream press are all caused by interviewers not asking questions that she feels the American public wants to hear. That makes sense though… A Vice President will never be asked anything that isn’t on their pre-written script, right? Right? Just nod and smile Sarah. That’s all you need to do!
  9. Palin is the first Vice Presidential candidate that I have heard drunk patrons at a bar talking about in an impure manor. Bush, Quayle, Gore, Cheney…None of them have gotten that attention. I wonder why? Oh…I know why! Because McCain thought that by adding an attractive yet ditzy housewife would lure in the suckers to place their votes for him! I guess something had to bring that dull campaign some life.
  10. You might have thought that Palin’s thought processes were very simple. However, this flowchart of last night’s election proves that Sarah Palin is really a complex person with a lot of great ideas:
    Sarah palin Debate Flowchart
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