Culture Mush

Imagine if you have gone through this election only listening to your friends. Imagine getting ready to visit the ballot box and the only thing about the candidates that you know is what you have heard from your friends. Imagine if your friends are completely ignorant, uninformed and uneducated. Let’s have a look at these candidate misinformed supporters and break down the facts according to them.

Extremist McCain supporters:

What they’d like us to know:
- Obama is a Muslim.
- Obama’s not a Christian and this is a Christian nation.
- Obama is a second stringer because he’s not white.
- Obama is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
- Palin is filled with the Holy Spirit.
- Obama is related to a known terrorist.
- He must support terrorists. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck.”
- Obama and his wife could be anti “white”.
- They don’t like the fact that Obama thinks “us white people are trash.”
- Obama is a baby killer.
- Difference in opinion is worthy of offensive insults and violent threats.

Extremist Obama supporters:

What they’d like us to know:
- If you’re white and you don’t vote Obama, you’re racist.
- If you believe borders should be closed, you’re racist and not human.
- If you can shout louder than the person you are debating, you are a top notch debater.
- According to the campaign sign that you made, Barack’s name is spelled “Barak”.
- There is no difference between gas and health care. You should pay higher prices for socialized health care than gas. By paying taxes for health care, gas prices will magically plummet.
- Illegal immigrants using health care for free and bankrupting hospitals isn’t a problem. Everybody deserves the same health care rights, regardless of citizen status. If you feel otherwise, you don’t believe in God.
- If you believe health care should only be for citizens, than you think that slavery should still be practiced.
- Immigrants and illegal aliens are all the same. Everybody in the US is an alien. Native Americans also no longer exist.
- If you are passionate about locking US borders and that is your most passionate cause, you should vote for the candidate opposite or your beliefs just because you share the same skin color.

My conclusion after listening to both extreme sides of the coin is that nobody seems to know a damn thing about McCain’s policies and the difference in the issues between the two candidates. Sadly, this election seems to come down to nothing more than race, religion and complete misinformation. Hopefully there are more educated individuals voting, than the ignorant. I’ve also come to the conclusion that the country’s most important issue isn’t raising taxes, high gas prices or abortion… The importance of education needs to come to the forefront in the near future! Nothing good can come of a country full of ignorant individuals with bad tempers, but at least these two very different groups all have 1 thing in common:Tiny IQ’s.

The final Presidential debate is now in progress! If you’re with a group of your friends and you have a couple bottles of hooch, bust out the shot glasses and just follow these rules. It is sure to guarantee a great time, and a rambunctious after-party!

GENERIC RULES THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ANY DEBATE:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When the buzzwords “change” or “maverick” or “hope” are used
-Whenever either one says “fundamental” or “fundamental difference”
-When someone says “I voted for or against” or “He voted for or against”
-When McCain refers to Obama’s “inexperience”
-When McCain stammers and looks like he might have a heart attack
-When McCain somehow works in his personal story as a POW during Vietnam
-When McCain refers to the moderator as “my friend” or the audience as “my friends”
-When Obama somehow works in his personal story of being raised by a single mom and his grandparents
-When Obama makes a smirk, shakes his head, and says, “Look…” as a preface to a statement or follow-up
-When Obama makes the case that McCain and Bush are one and the same or uses the phrase “more of the same”
-When Obama says “John McCain is right on this, but…”
-When either one lays claims to being “bipartisan” or working “across the aisle”
-It’s a Social when Sarah Palin is mentioned!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if McCain loses his temper!

ECONOMY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When someone mentions the “Bailout” of Wall Street
-When someone mentions Wall Street and Main Street in the same train of thought
-When someone starts quoting dollar figures (for example: 700 billion)
-When someone talks about mortgages/foreclosures/homeowners

FOREIGN POLICY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-If anyone uses the words “surge” or “victory”
-When anyone mentions a particular nation as being a potential “nuclear” threat
-When McCain talks about Islamic Radicals/Terrorists
-When Georgia and/or Russia are mentioned
-When Iran and/or Iraq are mentioned
-When Afghanistan is mentioned
-It’s a social for al Qaeda or North Korea!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if anyone delivers specifics on how to get out of Iraq “safely and responsibly”.

Big thanks to Pancakes and Kissing for these rules!

Definition Of Communism: “A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy …”

Definition Of Socialism: “The stage in Marxist-Leninist theory intermediate between capitalism and communism, in which collective ownership of the economy under the dictatorship of the proletariat has not yet been successfully achieved.”

The only difference between the two systems listed above is one has a dictator and the other does not. While George W. Bush was pretty close to taking on the role of a dictator with his outlandish policies and abuse of military power, at least we only had to put up with him for 8 years. Could you imagine spending a lifetime with the little chimp?

America is now a socialist country. You can deny it, or insist it’s for the benefit of capitalism and free market in the long run, but it’s time to wake up and stop living in denial. Sure the universal healthcare system isn’t in place, but it’s only a matter of time before that happens…especially with Obama leading the polls.

According to Yahoo News, “The government put itself four-square into the country’s banking business Tuesday, resorting to what President Bush conceded was the unwelcome choice of buying into the system to loosen paralyzed channels of credit. ” Instead of feeding the economy and infusing the free market, this move was nothing more than the first step in controlling more wealth while slowing down capitalistic growth. While it may appear to help on the surface with a national debt like it currently is, the government can now collect funds anytime they please. This is because loans, banks, and printed money are now directly owned by the government, as are our once capitalistic asses.

While this may just be me with a dire doomsday prediction, I can’t see this being anything more than a gateway to pure communist control. Now that the facade of a banking system to keep the direct government out of our money has been brought down, America is now one step away from Communism. Now just cue the authoritative government, and we’ll be on the fast track to hell on earth!

Are you wanting to show the support of McCain or Obama, but don’t know how? Do you wish that one of those pollsters would call you to ask which candidate will be getting your vote? Is the urge to vote eating away at you? Don’t let it do that…Instead, eat away your urge to vote!

Thanks to the fine folks at Airbed And Breakfast, voting just became delicious, nutritious and full of hope! For a limited time, you can show the support of your candidate by purchasing a box of Cap’n McCains or Obama O’s. Not only will you be a part of their voter poll which currently has Obama O’s leading Cap’n McCain’s by a vote of 63% to 36%, but 5% of the purchase will go towards the respective candidate. Be sure purchase yours now, as each box is limited to 500!

It was only a matter of time before presidential (ex)candidate John McCain threw in the towel. After the buzz of his campaign spark Sarah Palin was extinguished, the truth was exposed for all to see: John McCain is an extension of George Bush that very few want to see as our next President of the United States. During a speech in Minnesota, ‘my friend’ John McCain was pummeled with a chorus of boo’s after doing all but conceding to Democratic candidate Barack Obama.

After McCain proclaimed that Barack Obama is a “decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States.”, fingers were pointed and a Benedict Arnold label was instantly attached to John McCain’s wrinkled forehead. According to the AP, McCain responded to taunts from his own republican crowd by stating that “If you want a fight, we will fight…But we will be respectful. I admire Sen. Obama and his accomplishments.” When people proceeded to boo, McCain put an abrupt halt to it. He did so by taking out his dentures and making a spooky goblin face. I lied about that last part, but I think that if he had done that, those sad ones in the crowd would have turned their frowns upside down!

Of course during one point, the Muslim extremist card was thrown out by ignorant American #6723459675235. “I don’t trust Obama,” the woman said. “I have read about him. He’s an Arab.” Finally, McCain decided to do what was right and he shook his head in disagreement while saying “No, ma’am. He’s a decent, family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with (him) on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

I’m not sure whether the falling poll numbers have diminished McCain’s maverick-ness, or whether he’s pissed off that he can’t beat a person that half of the country thinks is Osama Bin Laden, but it seems as if McCain is ready to lay back and take his loss like a mavericky gentleman. Barring a huge vote counting discrepancy, it looks like McCain has come to the conclusion that most of the American public has: Senator Barack Obama is going to be elected the next President of the United States.