Culture Mush

Definition Of Communism: “A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy …”

Definition Of Socialism: “The stage in Marxist-Leninist theory intermediate between capitalism and communism, in which collective ownership of the economy under the dictatorship of the proletariat has not yet been successfully achieved.”

The only difference between the two systems listed above is one has a dictator and the other does not. While George W. Bush was pretty close to taking on the role of a dictator with his outlandish policies and abuse of military power, at least we only had to put up with him for 8 years. Could you imagine spending a lifetime with the little chimp?

America is now a socialist country. You can deny it, or insist it’s for the benefit of capitalism and free market in the long run, but it’s time to wake up and stop living in denial. Sure the universal healthcare system isn’t in place, but it’s only a matter of time before that happens…especially with Obama leading the polls.

According to Yahoo News, “The government put itself four-square into the country’s banking business Tuesday, resorting to what President Bush conceded was the unwelcome choice of buying into the system to loosen paralyzed channels of credit. ” Instead of feeding the economy and infusing the free market, this move was nothing more than the first step in controlling more wealth while slowing down capitalistic growth. While it may appear to help on the surface with a national debt like it currently is, the government can now collect funds anytime they please. This is because loans, banks, and printed money are now directly owned by the government, as are our once capitalistic asses.

While this may just be me with a dire doomsday prediction, I can’t see this being anything more than a gateway to pure communist control. Now that the facade of a banking system to keep the direct government out of our money has been brought down, America is now one step away from Communism. Now just cue the authoritative government, and we’ll be on the fast track to hell on earth!

Are you wanting to show the support of McCain or Obama, but don’t know how? Do you wish that one of those pollsters would call you to ask which candidate will be getting your vote? Is the urge to vote eating away at you? Don’t let it do that…Instead, eat away your urge to vote!

Thanks to the fine folks at Airbed And Breakfast, voting just became delicious, nutritious and full of hope! For a limited time, you can show the support of your candidate by purchasing a box of Cap’n McCains or Obama O’s. Not only will you be a part of their voter poll which currently has Obama O’s leading Cap’n McCain’s by a vote of 63% to 36%, but 5% of the purchase will go towards the respective candidate. Be sure purchase yours now, as each box is limited to 500!

It was only a matter of time before presidential (ex)candidate John McCain threw in the towel. After the buzz of his campaign spark Sarah Palin was extinguished, the truth was exposed for all to see: John McCain is an extension of George Bush that very few want to see as our next President of the United States. During a speech in Minnesota, ‘my friend’ John McCain was pummeled with a chorus of boo’s after doing all but conceding to Democratic candidate Barack Obama.

After McCain proclaimed that Barack Obama is a “decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States.”, fingers were pointed and a Benedict Arnold label was instantly attached to John McCain’s wrinkled forehead. According to the AP, McCain responded to taunts from his own republican crowd by stating that “If you want a fight, we will fight…But we will be respectful. I admire Sen. Obama and his accomplishments.” When people proceeded to boo, McCain put an abrupt halt to it. He did so by taking out his dentures and making a spooky goblin face. I lied about that last part, but I think that if he had done that, those sad ones in the crowd would have turned their frowns upside down!

Of course during one point, the Muslim extremist card was thrown out by ignorant American #6723459675235. “I don’t trust Obama,” the woman said. “I have read about him. He’s an Arab.” Finally, McCain decided to do what was right and he shook his head in disagreement while saying “No, ma’am. He’s a decent, family man, a citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with (him) on fundamental issues and that’s what this campaign is all about.”

I’m not sure whether the falling poll numbers have diminished McCain’s maverick-ness, or whether he’s pissed off that he can’t beat a person that half of the country thinks is Osama Bin Laden, but it seems as if McCain is ready to lay back and take his loss like a mavericky gentleman. Barring a huge vote counting discrepancy, it looks like McCain has come to the conclusion that most of the American public has: Senator Barack Obama is going to be elected the next President of the United States.

This economy is down the drain at this moment and most likely for many years to come. The cost of day to day living is skyrocketing and downright impossible for many Americans to keep up with. Retirement plans that have taken years to put together are being wiped out in a matter of days. Home values are a fraction of what they were a year ago with no hope of an upswing in sight. The cost of gas nullifies paychecks once commute is taken into consideration. If this isn’t depressing enough to be considered a depression, than I don’t know what is. However, it may be the the list of positives that is denying the current situation of that label!

• When taking a walk out to my mailbox and opening it up, I am jubilated to see the piles of credit card offers reduced to a lonely one or two per week. This sure beats the 6 or 7 a day I was getting. The only downside to this is that I may actually have to burn real firewood this winter, as opposed to my piles of credit card offers that I have collected throughout the year.
• You know that really big house you bought that definitely wasn’t in your budget…even if you died tomorrow and were still alive to collect your life insurance? Well now you’ll finally be able to enjoy it along with your 70 inch TV you charged to your 15% Credit card, the pool you installed with your now negative equity, the surround sound system that you purchased using your child’s college fund, and that granite countertop that you had installed with all of this year’s tax return. Why will you be able to enjoy this finally? Because your credit has dissolved and you now don’t have the cash to do much else.
• Rush hour in Vegas has always been a small version of constantly gridlocked Los Angeles. Since the gas prices have jumped, carpooling and public transportation usage has increased significantly. Thanks to this, I am able to get from point A to point B much faster, thanks to the opportunity for me to zigzag between cars that are actually moving, as opposed to standing still.
• Traveling to once heavily populated tourist areas is much cheaper once you plunk down heftier fees for plane travel. Hotels are throwing discounts around like crazy including free hotel stays, comped meals and even free activity vouchers. The flight might cost a few bucks extra, but you get to sleep for free in a room with an unwashed comforter, eat stale buffet food for free, and parasailing 300 feet in the air while a kid on summer break handles your safety might not cost you a dime…although if you’ve pissed the kid off, it might cost your life.
• If you live in a city like Vegas, join some hotel mailing lists. Upon joining, you’ll get almost daily offers for free (no strings attached) show tickets. Since people aren’t paying, they just need bodies in the seats to sell concessions. If you play your cards right, you’ll never have to pay for weekend entertainment again…at least for the next few years…and if you don’t mind watching shows every weekend featuring cheesy Vegas entertainers.
• Going to a car dealer and swinging a deal has never been easier. There was a time that lots were flooded with customers and they could work the angles in any way they see fit. Now the lots are just flooded with inventory, and the dealers have become the new doormats. Feel free to ram it to them good, as they have to you all throughout these years.
• Ritsy Titsy restaurants have smaller to no waits at all these days. If you need to impress that special lady (or just that special lady of the night), get your reservation in just minutes before and arrive to a non-existent wait aside from those that have walked up. Your date will think you are the man of the town and that she’s truly special, while you can laugh inside because that reservation was insanely easy to make just moments before arrival.
• Now that credit card offers are dwindling and endless credit lines are dissolving, keeping up with the Jones’ has never been easier. As long as you have been smart with spending, have budgeted wisely and picked up extra avenues of income, you should be riding the wave just fine while the Jones’ set a goal to keep up with you. Just be sure to stay out of the way of those insane repossession crews with mace and guns, as they cart their boat off. If you decide to watch, be sure to wear that bulletproof vest and goggles, because bullets may fly and mace may spray.
• If this whole situation really has thrown you in a depression, have no fear! The neighborhood bars are throwing out drink specials like everyday is the Superbowl, and you can now get tanked on a few bucks! To make it even better, nobody can afford to drive anymore, so you’re transportation is now public and you can avoid getting that DUI!

As they say, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I still don’t know who “they” really is, but “they” do exist. Keep your head up and these tough times will pass. While they are here though, you might as well focus on the positives to keep you from falling into a personal depression.

Once upon a time, fashion designers sketched out sassy twigs with female parts and no faces. These sketches were complete with loud patterns, satellite sized hats, squared shoulders, and turned into trendy fashion. After watching a marathon of the Golden Girls on a long Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the great shoulder pad craze of the 1980’s.

After doing some intense and calculated research (which included watching 80’s reruns of Dynasty, Scarecrow And Mrs. King, Knots Landing and Designing Women), I have come to realize that as with anything, fashion is directly related to political issues, complete with negative long term effects. In the 80’s equal rights amongst women and men were at its peak. After fighting the power and planting the flag of fairness, the ‘Power Woman’ was born! The women in the workforce had decided that there was to be no more crap taken from the elitist businessman. By taking their very feminine frames and adding some fluffy hair, wider shoulders and padding that gives the impression of improved posture, the playing field was even. Not only was the playing field even, but the sewn in shoulders had effectively wiped out the woman who had a chip on her shoulder…literally.

Right about the time the padded shoulders came into play, is when women stopped using Kleenex to stuff their bras, and started filling their milk bubbles with silicone sacks. Once the breast stuffing had stopped and the enhancements were permanently placed under previously flat skin, men could no longer say they were duped upon getting intimate with a woman for the first time. The only concern that came into play during the great shoulder pad era of the 1980’s, was whether or not the woman was really built like a linebacker, or whether her masculinity could be taken town 3 notches as soon as her top dropped.

While the shoulder pad had some positives, being as ladies were in a more powerful position physically to match their mental greatness, the frame of a man was now visually diminutive, which prompted the birth of the meathead. Men stopped going for the slender and sleek look, opting for bulky and bloated. While this appealed to many women, the stoppage of quality time with mates dropped due to hectic gym schedules, date money dissolved as men hustled to keep protein pumping to their muscles, and men in their 20’s and 30’s lost their hair at alarming rates due to rampant steroid use. Once ladies noticed these changes, it was quite apparent that the downfall of the shoulder pad was imminent (in order to save intimate relations with the male species, and to bask in the glory of mental superiority), and that men would permanently adapt to the creed of the beefcake.

Like the high of an illegal drug, and the downfalls of an addict, shoulder pads were a fad that felt so right, yet was obviously so wrong. Power was successfully established, but a nation of once human males were to forever fall to the wayside, into a pool of steroids, dumbbells and pull-up stations. Then again, was this possibly the grand plan? Establish female mental superiority by constraining men to the gym and stripping them of intellectual activities. Things that make you go hmmmm! Gone are the days of poofy female shoulders, but our nation will be forever impacted. Until we meet again, so long Mr. shoulder pad. So long.